Emptiness!!!!!

A tiring day….
The sun has receded back to its home
It has brought darkness everywhere in a matter of a few hours
Suddenly the world is engulfed in darkness...
And small illuminated lamps lit up my street
There is the usual hustle and bustle in the streets
The occasional barking of stray dogs
the wails of children
The sound of buses and all sorts of man made transports
I try to focus again on ‘working capital’ decisions’
Nothing is going through my head…
I stare at the white wall before me…
I am filled with emptiness…
A blank feeing…
I try hard to concentrate…
It doesn’t work
I throw my books aside….
I hit the covers of my bed…
The ceiling of my room is pitch black
I stare I stare….
My breathing becomes ragged
I try to think…
What have I made out of myself?
Have I taken all the right decisions?
Am I in the right place where I am?
Have I made a mark?
Will I make a mark?
Would things be different if I had heeded everyone’s wish to take science?
Would I found satisfaction there-more than what I get in solving accounts?
Was I right in deciding that this is right and this is not right for me?
Would I be feeling empty now...even if I had taken science and gone to become an engineer?
Will I be able to prove to the world, that I had made a right decision?
Better, will I be able to prove it to myself?
All I want is to be the on the cream of excellence
Do I have the stuff for it?
Time alone will answer….
Time alone will make a mark for me…
but still why do I feel empty???
??????